Pessimists Beware

Journal

April 15, 2004

Could a girl get any luckier? A night on the town all gussied up in glitter with my Glittertopia girlfriends on Orange Crush night. We could have gone nowhere or anywhere. I was as happy as one could ever dream to be. Many, many blessings. And these two blessings are called Swirly & Gretchen.

April 13 , 2004

Creativity Cuties Doodle Art!

Even though life has been so full of various opportunities and commitments I always make time for my twice a month Creativity Cuties meetings. What fun it is to get together and just create art.

Last night we had dinner together and then pulled out the paints. We took one long piece of paper and eachof us settled into our own spot to paint our doodle. Then after a while we shifted from our creation to linking with the others. The result was amazing and the process a blast.

February 19, 2004

Miracles Happen!

When I orchestrate a snowboarding trip and am antsy to hurry the group out of the house in the morning to hit the slopes, you know a miracle has happened.

Three years ago my idea of a vacation was always somewhere hot, I had little coordination and no interest in hitting the slopes. Now I go to Mammoth, can't wait to get on the mountain and can be heard squealing in delight all the way down the run. I am even setting goals about snowboarding! By the end of the season I will learn to ride switch and land a 180 turn. Now THAT is a miracle.

It is a joy to experience a new way to feel alive and have it be unrecognizable. It excites me to think of what new joy I will be experiencing two years from now that is still unimaginable.

If the unimaginable happen to you what would that be?

December 19, 2003

7:29 a.m. before my 9:30 flight to Sydney. As I rush to do all the things that "need to be done" I unload my camera onto my computer and get instantly entranced in the bounty of December documented on that wonderful invention the camera. This is what abundance of love looks like. Gretchen and Swirly for delicious Indian food on my last night in Santa Barbara for three weeks, ahhhh. And what those ladies are looking at I do not know, but it sure must be good! :-)

Australia awaits, but heaven is already here.

Have a wonderful holiday full of fun times with loved ones.

October 30, 2003
Gratitude + Intention - Attachment = Bliss & Magic

A picture of Bliss & Magic - Michael Franti

Gratitude + Intention - Attachment = Bliss. That has been my meditation all week. I noticed that the happier, more content I was, balanced with creating intention for what I wanted, the more amazing things started happening to me. It all started with the free Radiohead tickets back in late September. I created an intention for receiving free tickets, but was not attached to if I got them or not. Sure enough the phone rang and kept ringing. I just went to see Pearl Jam at the SB Bowl (the tickets, despite being released to the 805 area code only, sold out in 90 minutes) on Tuesday. That show was the 5th free ticket since I created the intention. And music is just one area. I have been offered three job opportunities in the last two weeks as well. Be happy with the perfection of your life, dream to your hearts content, be willing to embrace any outcome and poof - Magic happens.

October 14, 2003

Yippie! Hooray! Goodie, goodie, goodie!

Swirly in Surrender Burning Man - She is so good at this!

The cards are here! I have been going to my P.O. Box every day since 10/8 waiting for the first Pessimists Beware business cards to arrive. It took 45 minutes to create them on the web so you would think what is the big deal, but it IS. For two related reasons. 1. I have wanted them for soooo long (And now they are here!!!!), but was just blocked in making it happen. 2. It is a lesson on how easy it is to do what I was so blocked (fearful) about. So now I am excited about taking on the next thing I have been blocked or fearful about. I am sure it will be easy - or at least much easier than I have anticipated. I of course am critical of the card and see a number of things to change next time, but they EXIST! A moment to soak in, enjoy, savor. To dance, giggle and delight in. Yippie!

October 11, 2003

Swirly in Surrender PCH

Sunny skies on one side, dark coulds entering on the other.

Amazing how what you think about reveals itself over and over again. This week a friend made a request for a message on fear. She wanted to make a major change in her life but was scared. So I started to write and talk about fear and it showed up everywhere. Everywhere I looked fear spoke to me. A friend returned a book I lent to him over a year ago. The book was a daily meditation book A Year of Living Consciously by Gay Hendricks. Click here for more info on this book) I opened the book to today and read "New Ways of Looking at Fear". Hours later I turned the page on an affirmational display book I have with inspirational phrases (I only change it once every three weeks or so) and the new one today said "Don't let the fear stop you." This is after the many conversations my dad I and I have had over his recent visit. What I noticed was that no matter who I talked to, where I went, everyone was fearful of something. Fear was everywhere and by being open to it, being with it, as my dad says, I enjoyed it. I never imagined fear could feel so non threatening, helpful, and nourishing. "Fear is excitement, without the breath."Fritz Perls Gestalt therapist said.

With fear everywhere this week, I began to realize the new way that Pessimists Beware is evolving for me. What started as a way to separate the work week from the weekend has evolved into aninvitation, a meditation, a discussion. A theme for my week. An issue to discuss, look at, reveal in a new way. What makes it even more delightful is that it was a request. Two in a row. Thank you Alycia. Your question about fear has had and will continue to create ripple effects beyond your and my vision.

self portrait

September 30, 2003

Creativity Cuties, a group of women who get together to do art projects and just have fun together, has been meeting for about six months now. We meet every other Monday. Each meeting one person hosts and provides goodies and another person leads with the art project. We keep rotating so there is always a new and interesting project. We have played with many different mediums from wire sculpture, finger painting, mobile making, clay sculpture, flower mandalas, and last night water colors. I have not done art work since Iwas a freshman in high school so it has been both scary and fun to declare myself an artist. Completing the amazing book by Julia Cameron The Artist's Way (click here for a book review) made a big difference and so has this group. I have learned that a painter is a person who paints. A photographer a person who takes photos. So now when people ask if I am an artist, I say YES! What can you become just by being it?

Surrender Pose at Radiohead at the Hollywood Bowl

9/27/03

Enjoying the opportunities! I had so much to do this weekend and every minutes was scheduled it seemed, when out of nowhere free tickets to Radiohead at the Hollywood Bowl found me and within 20 minutes of finding out I was on the 101 South! It was so last minute I could not even give the other ticket away, but it was PERFECT and I had a great time. Radiohead ROCKED and so did I! And the Hollywood Bowl is so beautiful. Less than 36 hours later again free tickets. This time to see Neil Young acoustic solo at an outdoor show at the Firestone Ranch in the Santa Ynez Valley. I could have said no. I could have gone and worried about the homework that needed grading, bills that needed paying, calls that just had to be made, but instead I went and enjoyed the opportunity. I am sure on my death bed I would not lament the to do lists that did not get completed, but I know I would lament the concerts I did not see just so I could "get stuff done". Life is too short to miss music! See Pessimists Beware on 10/1/03 for more on Enjoying Opportunities.

A Place to Celebrate Optimism